Dan Clark

This is one of my favorite memes I made.

I have very strong thoughts about Rhapsody on a theme of Paganini.

The first time I heard this music was on some long road trip on some forgotten California city’s public radio station. I was channel surfing and stumbled on it. It was piano music with an entire orchestra, but it was unlike most of the standard classical music those stations typically play. And it kept changing.

It was like an anthology of music in one piece. It seemed fun and exploratory. It grew dark. It became almost comedic. It was technically brilliant. It was preposterous. It was intense. I had never heard anything like it. It was insane and beautiful.

I remember listening to it for the first time and thinking, do you remember those Bugs Bunny cartoons where Bugs is maniacally conducting an orchestra and he loses his entire bag of marbles furiously conducting the absolute shit out of an orchestra? I am now sure that this was an homage to Rachmoninoff–I’ve not done a single bit of research into this, and I am still entirely sure this is the case.

Rhapsody on a theme of Paganini is no more a rhapsody than Chopin’s Piano Sonata No. 2 is a sonata, but I like when classical music geeks fight over things because it means the composers are doing something right. (It is hilarious to think that Rhapsody on a theme of Paganini might be better classified as a sonata, and that maybe Chopin’s Piano Sonata No. 2 might be closer to a rhapsody? I didn’t major in music, leave me alone.)

But it is definitely on a theme of Paganini. The whole thing is a glorious playful deconstruction and homage to what is one of the best pieces of music by one of the best violinists to compose or play the instrument. (Immediately go to that Wikipedia link and watch Kyoko Yonemoto play this piece of music if you haven’t heard it yet.) Rachmaninoff took that and said I see your violin and raise you an entire set of 88 keys and the greatest hands to ever touch a piano.

Variation VIII is likely where I first started listening during that road trip that initial time I heard it. Oh, there are twenty-four variations–should have mentioned that. Twenty-four variations on that one theme. I’ll start with number 8 because that is where it hooked me, and maybe go from there.

Number 8: Some type of dark, intense call and response. Pianist and orchestra are basically fighting.

Number 9: The fighting continues, syncopated, alternating between sixteenth and triplet time. Of the many versions of this entire piece that I’ve now heard, the recording with Rachmaninoff himself on keys is the closest to what I imagine his original intent was. Most other recordings get the timing wrong. Piano and orchestra are taking alternating notes as quickly as the bass drums in a marching band take sixteenth note runs–the timing must be precise. The absolute brutality of the battle reaches a fever pitch. The maniacal piano stabs menace and complement the intense orchestration.

Number 10: The battle simmers down and quells. The transition away from the intense altercation stes up the next series of variations. This part is one I listen to the closest when I encounter any new recordings or versions of the piece. It is too easy for a pianist, orchestra, or recording studio to highlight the wrong things. Rachmaninoff’s composition and playing style seem to demand an almost chaotic disregard for the actual notes he’s playing–in variation 10, especially, the piano part flies all over the keyboard. Too often, a recording slows down or highlights his transitions as fundamental showcases of the notes on the page. Rachmaninoff himself plays these parts as almost throw-away bits of transition–he uses them as padding to get from one place to the next. Even in the recording where his piano is recorded at a slightly too-high volume relative to the orchestra, the piano transitions are a muted, nearly garbled mess of notes intended as just vibes.

Number 11: is where things take a turn. And I’ve so far only described like two minutes of the entire piece. It gets so much better.

I just got disgusted with myself for how many hours I’ve spent playing a dumb mobile game. So I left that app and came here to write about it. But in order to fully open the WordPress app, I had to eliminate some of the data taking up space on my phone. So I Uninstaller that game.

I don’t know why this current method of wasting time is preferable, but now it’ll be part of this flimsy “blog” on the server I pay to keep online.

I quit Twitter and Reddit as they became enhittified, and now there’s no place to publicize my thoughts other than here.

Updates: I’m no longer the Academic Senate President, but I’m the Curriculum Committee faculty co-chair. I (hopefully) got approved for a sabbatical in 2025. I got a dog.

I had a standard outdoor BBQ grill for a few years, and it was always okay. I modded it with some fire bricks and a pizza stone and pizza steel for a year and made some great pizzas!

However, the size and relative fragility meant it faced increasing repairs, and decreasing efficacy.

Got rid of it in favor for a smaller BBQ grill, which I set on top of the electric smoker a friend gifted me a while back. Also got a dedicated Ooni pizza oven, which was sitting on an outdoor patio table.

To make all of the new stuff fit into a footprint about the same as the old BBQ grill, I planned this:

Then, today, I made it!

Twitter (X?) no longer has a smaller enough number of ads or a large enough number of active users I am interested in following. I’m currently exploring other ways to socially engage online, and in the meantime, I figured I’d try out posting here.

Test post with iCalendar link, to see if external calendars can access.

http://danclark.me/wp-content/uploads/2022suBIOLV12.ics

Setup:
Shuffle one deck of standard playing cards.
Deal 26 cards face down to each of two players–this is each player’s deck. If at any time during the game a player’s deck reaches 0 cards, shuffle the discards–this becomes the player’s new deck.
Decide on total money each player will have to wager in the game (must be the same total for each player). This total will be represented by an equal number of coins (of any denomination) held by each player.
Flip a coin to see who goes first.
The game ends whenever a player’s total coins reaches 0 at the end of a round.

Round of Play:
1) Each player draws and looks at the top card from their deck.
2) Each player predicts whether their drawn card will be higher or lower than their opponent’s.
3) Each player hides a coin either heads-up (for a higher card prediction) or tails-up (for a lower card prediction) below their face-down card.
4) The player whose turn it is begins wagering on whether their prediction is correct. Options include
a) check (no bet) or
b) raise (place any number of additional coins into the betting “pot”, a pile next to the two cards).
5) The next player may
a) In response to a check (or call):
i) check (ends wagering)
ii) raise (add a total number of coins greater than the last raise)
b) In response to a raise:
i) call (add coins matching the raise; ends wagering) or
ii) raise (add a total number of coins greater than the last raise).
6) If wagering has not ended, repeat step 5 player by player until wagering has ended.
7) Reveal the two cards and the two prediction coins.
8) Determine outcome (prediction coins are counted as part of the pot):
a) If both prediction coins are correct predictions, split the pot evenly and return to each player. Skip to step 10.
b) If only one prediction coin is correct, give the entire pot to the player with the correct prediction. Skip to step 10.
c) If neither prediction coin is correct, the entire pot rolls over and becomes the initial pot of the next round. Skip to step 10.
d) If the two cards tie: WAR!
9) WAR rules:
a) Each player draws and looks at two cards from the top of their deck.
b) Each player places a prediction coin under each of their face-down cards, placed to the side of the face-up tie cards.
c) Play steps 4-8 for the first of the two WAR cards.
i) If another WAR is triggered, play through that second WAR before moving on to the next WAR card.
d) Play steps 4-8 for the second of the two WAR cards.
10) Return to step 1, switching the player who starts the wagering in step 4.

I forgot I had a blog. So I’m writing now, here, with a brief update. Things are weird and I’m the Academic Senate president of a Southern California community college. I go to a lot of Zoom meetings every week and so miss teaching in person.

111, The Game.

Required items:
One standard 52 card playing card deck per every 2 players.
One D6.
A bunch of coins.

Hearts are health
Spades are defense
Diamonds are money
Clubs are attack
Aces are 11, and are not bosses.

Face cards are bosses:
Boss Jacks are 10 attack, defense, health
Boss Queens are 12
Boss Kings are 14

A party is a set of four cards, one of each suit.
One party can attack a boss or can attack another player.

Setup:
Each player is given 11 coins from the bank.
Deck is placed face down as the draw deck.
Each player is dealt 5 cards.

Turn:
1) Card Draw and Boss Placement. The player draws one card from the deck. If the player holds any face cards at this time the player consults the available bosses to be attacked. If the player holds any face cards of a type that is not already on the table, the player must select this face card and place it face up on the table. These face cards become the bosses able to be attacked–they are placed in a Jacks pile, a Queens pile, and a Kings pile. If a boss is played, draw another card.

If additional face cards are in the player’s hand after playing the required card, the player may elect to place additional face cards into play (repeat step 1), or may elect to hold the face card.

2a) Party Formation. If the player can make a complete suited party (four cards, one of each suit), the player must place all four of those cards face up in front of them, and must use this party to attack. If player does not have the cards for a complete party, their turn is ended–discard down to five cards.

If a party is formed with doubles (two cards of the same value), the player adds 2 to the value of one of the doubled cards. If a party is formed with triples, the player adds 3 to the value of one of the tripled cards. If a party is formed with quadruples, the player adds 4 to the value of one of the quadruples cards.

If a boss is available for attack, the player may select which boss to attack (go to step 3).

If no boss is available to attack, or if the player chooses not to attack a boss, that player must attack another player (go to step 8).

2b) Buy coins. If no party is formed, and if the player has exactly two diamond cards exactly totaling 11 points OR one diamond ace card, the player may choose to play those cards and then receive 11 coins from the bank. This ends the players turn, and the player then draws cards up to a five card hand.

Boss attack:
3) Attack Strength and Buff Purchase. The player must first announce which available boss is being attacked. The player then rolls one D6 and this roll is added to the party’s attack strength (clubs card total). Player may then elect to purchase one attribute (attack, shield, health, or money) from the following table (purchased attributes immediately apply and remain for the duration of this player’s turn). Payment is paid to the bank. Player may make one purchase per attacking D6 roll made.

Item Attribute Cost (ea.) Max purchasable
Extra Club +1 Attack 5 coins 1
Extra Shield +1 Shield 3 coins 2
Med Kit +1 Health 1 coin 5

4) Attack Resolution and KO. The attack points (club card + D6 roll + any purchased points) are then subtracted from boss’ shield points (if any). If the attack points exactly total the boss’ shield points, that boss is knocked out and player gets an extra attack (go to step 3).

If shield points reach zero, any remaining attack points are subtracted from boss’ health points. If the boss’ health reaches zero, the boss has been defeated (go to step 7b). If the boss is not defeated, boss then attacks.

5) Boss Attack and KO. Roll a D6 and this roll is added to boss’ attack points. Subtract this score from party’s shield points (spade points plus any additional purchased points). If the boss’ attack points exactly equal the party’s shield points, player is knocked out and boss gets another attack (repeat step 5)–no surrender is possible if knocked out.

6) Surrender Option. After the party’s shield total first reaches zero, subtract any leftover attack points from player’s health points. When this happens, and if the player has any remaining health points after deduction, the player may elect to surrender–player pays a penalty of half of the diamond card total (rounded down) and these coins are added to that boss’ coin pile. The party is discarded face up on the discard pile. The player then draws cards op to a total of 5 and the turn is immediately ended.

7a) Attack conclusion. If the player elects not to surrender, the attack continues (go to step 3). When the player’s health points reaches zero, the player has been defeated. Coins equal to the player’s party’s diamond card (plus any purchased points) are lost from the player and placed onto the winning boss’ card. If the player does not have enough coins for this, the player places all remaining coins onto the winning boss’ card.

If the player’s coin total is zero at the end of their turn, the player receives 11 coins from the bank.

7b) Boss defeat. When a boss is defeated, coins (from the bank) equal to the attacking party’s diamond card total plus any additional coins held by that boss and plus the boss bonus are given to the winning player.

Boss Bonus: Jacks are worth 5 coins, Queens are worth 6, Kings are worth 7.

If the boss was the only boss in its slot, the player receives an additional 5 coins. If the boss is the final of its kind to be defeated (last in the deck(s)), the player receives an additional 11 cents from the bank.

The winning party is discarded and the player draws cards up to 5 and the turn is over.

Fellow Player attack:
8) Party Defense and Partial Party Store Discount. The defending player must place as many cards as possible (up to 4; one card of each suit) to make a party. This may result in an incomplete party (with as few as one card). If the defending party is fewer than four cards, the defending player receives a discount from the store. The defending player may elect to purchase up to five points (one point per coin) in any one attribute (including an attribute for which the defending player holds no card). This discount only applies when the partial party is first formed, not during, e.g., step 10.

9) Fellow Player Attack. The attacking player then attacks as if the defending party were a boss, as above (step 3). KO rules from steps 4 and 5 apply. If defending player’s party’s shield total reaches zero, and if defending player has any health remaining, defending player may surrender for a penalty of half of the diamond card total, rounded down, paid to the attacking player. Attacking player may not surrender.

10) Fellow Player Counterattack. If neither player surrenders, defending player then attacks their attacker as above (step 3) with any additional non-discounted store items stacking with previous purchased items. Players take consecutive turns until one player is defeated.

10b) Triumph/Defeat. The defeated player must pay the triumphant player coins up to the total of the highest diamond card’s points (triumphant party plus purchased points OR defeated party plus purchased points, whichever is higher). If the defeated player ever cannot pay the highest diamond card’s value, the triumphant player takes the remaining coins from the bank to make up to the total.

If any player’s coin total is zero at the end of their turn, that player receives 11 coins from the bank.

Attacking player’s turn ends when the boss or either player are defeated or surrenders.

11) At the end of the turn, all players (beginning with attacking player) draw down to, or up to a final hand of 5 cards, starting with the player whose turn is ending. Discards are placed on the discard pile.

——-

Any time a player defeats an enemy (boss or player) with an attack score equal to the foe’s remaining health, that player gains an additional 11 coins from the bank.

——

The first player to have 111 coins wins.